20 Something and Striving

Blog lovin

2012-01-26T08:53:00.001-08:00

My amazingly talented friend Danielle awarded me a Liebster Award! Liebster is a German word meaning "dearest" and the award is given to bloggers with fewer than 200 followers. Danielle's amazing eye for art and beauty and insight to life is continuously inspirational to me and while I haven't blogged for ages, I appreciate her love and this award! Thank you Danielle!!

The award has a few stipulations:
1.Thank the giver and link back to the blogger who gave it to you.
2.Reveal your five blogger picks and let them know by leaving a comment on their blog.
3.Copy and paste the award on your blog.
4. Hope that people you have sent the award to forward it on to their favorite bloggers.

And the award goes to.....

Life: Inspired (see above)

In the Belly of the Fish (my best friend's honest and raw experiences with life)

Swissfamilysoderlund (new blog by my friend and her husband which I'm excited to read!)

I work in duh office (hilarious blog by my angry office girl friend, haha)

Kaia F.I.T. Sacramento (this may be a cheat because I'm sure our website has many followers, but I specifically love Megan's new blog series)

It made me think about my blog which I had honestly given up on. But then I started to think about the first post (two years ago yesterday, WHAT?!)...I wrote about making changes, not knowing what I want from this life, and how I thought I would achieve these things....It's kind of amazing to compare that time to today. Well, I can say that I have a much more clear vision of what I think I want from my life and it will take a lot more courage and some major leaps of faith than I originally expected but I've also started to learn that life is never as you imagine it's going to be.

Perhaps one of the greatest realizations that I've had is one that may seem obvious but it's so much more fundamental for me and ultimately, the way I want to live my life. It's the realization that I want my heart to be in it, whatever it is that I do, and I don't want to do anything out of complacency. As my blog posts have described, I've struggled with the industry that I've worked in for a long time now...but I've been exploring ways out and just reaching in any direction that I think sounds interesting to me, seeking possible refuge and escape. The problem is, I have many interests....MANY. I've thought, I want to teach, I want to be a nurse, I want to blah blah blah. All are great, but none of them lit a fire in my heart, none of them gave me the drive to GO FOR IT, and for that reason alone I toyed with those ideas but they did not manifest. I give myself credit for at least exploring them, but I also give myself credit for not getting too deep into it and denying the fact that my passion wasn't enough to allow me to succeed.

Well the good news is, I've found that passion. I have found something that I WANT to make a career out of, and one that I think I can flourish in because I love it so much, everything about it. Here's the catch: there's no obvious path. To get there, I have to throw myself out there, I have to create my own way, and I have to bring it to life. And I couldn't be more excited.

Belly Laugh

2011-11-03T16:01:00.000-07:00

I want a life that sizzles and pops and makes me laugh out loud. And I don’t want to get to the end, or to tomorrow, even, and realize that my life is a collection of meetings and pop cans and errands and receipts and dirty dishes. I want to eat cold tangerines and sing out loud in the car with the windows open and wear pink shoes and stay up all night laughing and paint my walls the exact color of the sky right now. I want to sleep hard on clean white sheets and throw parties and eat ripe tomatoes and read books so good they make me jump up and down, and I want my everyday to make God belly laugh, glad that he gave life to someone who loves the gift.

~ From the book Cold Tangerines by Shauna Niequist

Rules of Life: Defined by MOI!

2011-08-18T10:09:00.000-07:00

*Let me add a disclaimer: I try to abide by these myself, but I don’t claim to have them perfected!

1) You CAN do it. I constantly hear of people claiming to want certain things so bad, whether it is a drastic change of any kind or the slightest one, a new activity, one less activity…..My take on this: just make it happen. I have learned this and it has been life changing. Yes, certain things you can’t change immediately- like your job. But you can try. And keep trying. And while you try, what else can you do to offset that seemingly endless wait? Take a class for fun. Find a new hobby and hold yourself to it. Can’t afford it? I BET you can reduce some of your expenses enough to make up for it. Too tired? JUST GO- I practically guarantee you won’t regret it. I could go on and on. The point is, step out of your comfort zone, let go of your fear that is holding you back (once you realize that’s what it is) and just DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT. One step at a time is sometimes enough to make you realize that there is such a better way of going through life than by default.

2) Flakey = fake. Fake = waste of EVERYONE’s time. Yes, I really believe this! Do people really think that they are being nicer by saying yes to things while fully intending on making up an excuse and flaking later? Let me tell you, you’re not! I know it sounds harsh, but it’s pretty much dishonesty. I’ve been liberated by practicing telling people no when I just know I can’t or won’t make it to something. Yeah, that isn’t very fun either. But I personally feel it’s better than telling someone who is planning on you being somewhere that you can’t actually go. And best of all, it’s HONEST! I’ll stop now 

3) An attitude of gratitude is the way to opportunity. AND it rhymes! (Thanks Yogi tea). Treating people well is such a key in life. Obvious? You’d think so. But I watch so many people (at work, mostly) who get this crazy attitude due to their frustrations or how much more they (think) they know than everyone else and it exudes in their presence. Sure, you can feel that way, but it doesn’t mean you should act that way. This is different than the honesty I speak to above. This is what I consider grace, kindness, respect, and appreciation….etc. I’ve learned that when you up the bar on your attitude, and also make sure you treat people good no matter how cranky you are, it goes SUCH a long way. Nobody wants to be around a whiner, a downer, or a complainer. People will embrace you so much if you refrain from that as best as you can, and put that smile on your face.

4) Health matters. See two posts below.

I'll stop here. Just some of my thoughts for the day!!

Fill in the blank Friday

2011-07-22T11:32:00.000-07:00

1. One of my happiest moments ever was: when Matt proposed. Honestly, I was so surprised....we were overlooking the Golden Gate Bridge...my mom, brother, and cousins were there to witness and it was AWESOME.

2. Summer is wedding season and weddings are: Well, mine was SO MUCH FUN! As was the case when I went to the weddings of some of my closest friends, who were marrying guys I totally loved. We had a blast and all of the above events were filled with joy. Otherwise, when you are not too thrilled about the union, it can be mildly horrible....

3. This summer: Has been pretty focused on fitness, and it feels great. I'm stoked Matt hasn't had summer school, because we actually get to have tons of fun plans and feel like we are on summer break!

4. My summer food of choice has been: lots of quinoa and lots of berries. I've made fish with fruity salsa several times and its been delicious!

5. My summer uniform has been: Dresses!! When of course, it's not so cold (?).

6. If I could spend the entire summer in one location I would choose: If its somewhere I've been before, then Cinque Terre, Italy. Fantasy spot- anywhere, Spain.

7. My summer anthem is: Mumford & Sons- I can't stop listening to this entire album.

{via the little things we do}

High.

2011-07-21T10:33:00.000-07:00

This morning I am celebrating a personal victory, which is really not that monumental in the grand scheme of things, but it feels so good to me! I received wonderful words of encouragement from one of my bootcamp coaches, and it's sparking a fire in my heart to more seriously pursue becoming a coach or trainer myself!

Since May, I've been attending an intense bootcamp for women (KAIA) three days per week. I've honestly never felt so healthy, at least not as long as I can remember. Each class I attend gets my heart racing, my sweat dripping, and my muscles burning! It feels incredible to push myself further than I knew I could go, and to see results I felt were long gone. My experience makes me want to scream out loud to everyone I love- "YOU can feel this good too!!"

It's incredible what working out can do for you. I firmly believe in "healthy body = healthy mind". Of course, there will always be those days. Always! But, overall, my energy level has increased tremendously, my confidence has increased, and I feel so much happier. I am motivated to eat healthier, and to workout on the days I don't have bootcamp, because I feel the outcome is so positive, there's no way I want to let it go. I believe everyone owes this to themselves, to take care of their bodies and minds, and stop making excuses. Just do it!

Oh, Paris!

2011-06-09T11:03:00.001-07:00

What an amazing giveaway!!

http://ohhappyday.com/2011/06/goes-to-paris/

(my) Rules of Summer

2011-06-07T10:03:00.000-07:00

Inspired by Emily, I've decided to come up with my own summer to-do wish list:

1. Ride bikes in San Francisco

2. Backpack and camp in the Klammath area

3. Plant tomatoes

4. Eat dinner outside and watch the sunset

5. Learn how to barbecue (stole this from Emily also)

What's on your summer wish list?

Miss You.

2011-06-01T12:00:00.001-07:00

...my beautiful grandparents. True love.

Reason #114537438 that I love my husband.

2011-05-10T08:50:00.000-07:00

Matt and I have had an ongoing....struggle....with laundry. I tend to do our laundry, and have never gotten into the habit of checking pockets when I do. I ALWAYS have a tissue on me, so unfortunately, I often end up with pieces of tissue all over our laundry. When Matt and I first got married, this drove him crazy- understandable. He'd beg me to check my pockets for tissues before I did the laundry. I was slightly defensive about it, depsite my understanding, because after all, I was the one doing his laundry!!

So one day, I did his laundry, and when I opened the dryer, I was mortified at the endless pen streaks around our dryer. He had left a pen in the pocket of his work pants, and it looked like an angry little child had scribbled hundreds of marks around and around our dryer. Fail. I didn't want to hear it- WHY did he not empty his pockets before putting his clothes in the hamper? Back and forth we went, he knew he shouldn't have left a pen in his pocket, but wondered why I couldn't just check. 3 days of scrubbing later, our dryer was spotless, thanks to me! Moving on!

Last week, I did our laundry again. As the clothes are in the dryer I hear a thumping towards the end of the cycle. I open the dryer to investigate but see nothing. I figure it must be the heavy load. I start the dryer back up after fluffing out the load a bit, but hear the thumping again. Ugh! I open the dryer and to my horror, find Matt's relatively new IPOD in the pocket of his gym shorts. SERIOUSLY?!! As annoyed as I was that he had left it in his pocket, I felt HORRIBLE. Luckily, the Ipod was revived after 30 min on the charger, but the screen was a bit funky. So when he came home, I confessed and apologized profusely. Luckily, he was super sweet, no arguing occured. He told me it was alright...Phew!!

Yesterday, when I came home, the first words Matt said to me were:

"Babe, I have to tell you something. Now I could choose to withhold this from you, but I am an honest person...." What in the world is he about to tell me?? "I did my laundry this morning. And I had left my walllet in my pants."

I love you my man! You're hilarious and so sweet.

Happy Birthday my Love!

2011-05-06T09:03:00.001-07:00

26 years ago, my best friend was born...I love you, Matt... so much! I cannot wait to celebrate with you this weekend celebrating your first birthday as my husband!!

Oh, baby!

2011-04-21T09:44:00.001-07:00

Being married and at the age of almost 26, I've reached the phase of mild baby craze. There, I said it. Not that we are anywhere near having a baby or ready for it, that's about 3 years away. But I swoon at the thought of when that day comes. I see babies and am enamoured by their innocence and beauty. And I see pregnant or new moms and I find them to be so beautiful (like Aura). I tear up at things that I never even noticed before

"They didn't have you where I come from

Never knew the best was yet to come

Life began when I saw your face

And I hear your laugh like a serenade"

-Dixie Chicks, Lullaby

Ahhhh so lovely.

Looking forward to....

2011-04-15T09:17:00.001-07:00

....the weather warming up, ....having no plans tonight, ....riding our bikes tomorrow, starting our garden, spending some QT with the hubby. I'm feeling good entering the weekend with no residual work-related stress. While the first week of work is always awkward as you revert back to knowing virtually nothing, having daily breaks and leaving at a reasonable hour really helps me to go home feeling more refreshed and less stressed than I have for a loooong time! Fantastic! This blog started with a list of goals and a rigid plan that aimed to allow me to accomplish those goals. Looking forward, the next year will be an interesting one for us, as the state budget cuts have truly limited Matt's school schedule flexibility, and we will thus be facing a time in which we will have to spend wisely and cautiously, and save as much as possible. While I've realized I can't manage to stick to such a rigid plan, I'm going to have to think again about how to manage my time and money best in order to continue to meet our goals. Sigh. The challenges never seem to stay away for too long. In such times, it helps me to remember: 'God said, "And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart".' -Jeremiah 29:13

Just dance.

2011-04-13T10:56:00.000-07:00

I often have dance parties in my living room. Sometimes, you just gotta get your groove on! And yes, maybe at first my husband may look at me like I'm crazy (adoringly of course) but within moments we both end up dancing around our house, laughing hysterically. I highly recommend this to everyone. It's guaranteed to boost your spirits on any day!

C'est la vie...

2011-04-08T10:51:00.000-07:00

The last few weeks have been an emotional rollercoaster, on a further from home basis if that makes sense. Leaving a job that I’ve been at for four years, and really the only “real” job I’ve ever had has proven to be more of a challenging experience than I expected. I am so happy to have this new opportunity, and I am embracing it with open arms and excitement! But at the time of departure, I’ve really spent some time reflecting on what my almost former position has taught me and the experiences I’ve had. It’s posed so many questions that I thought I had all the answers to but then you revisit them again at the last minute, partly in a state of panic and partly in a state of relief, excitement, curiosity and some anxiety! As much as I am not one who wants my career to define my life, at this point, it is something that takes up majority of my time, and I’m still in a place where I have the freedom and flexibility to take some risks…..hmmmm. Here's to change! On a different note, it’s been a time of challenge with friends, some good and some bad. I love when you experience such fulfilling conversations and moments with friends who you really love and you walk away feeling better, closer, and comforted. I cherish these times, and growing closer to the people who I know I will care for forever, with endless memories ahead of us. Thanks, ladies! On the other hand, we’ve reached an age where I cannot have superficial relationships in the way I used to when I was younger and had less of an idea about who I am. While I’m still 20 something and striving….I know so much more about the kind of life that I want to live, how I want to carry myself, and I believe that your friends should compliment those aspirations and enrich your life. It’s an interesting realization when it causes a relationship to split off into different directions.

I know this picture is fuzzy and super random, but I just found it and I love that is has my 3 besties in it!

Yet in spite of all these roller coasters, my life at home with my hubby has been so fantastic, and I am just so much more in love every day- seriously!! I think we’ve reached a point where we can look back on 9 months of marriage and say we’ve overcome the adjustment phase and entered into a blissful place of comfort, stability, satisfaction, and a deep new level of love.

Oh, hello!

2011-04-01T08:25:00.000-07:00

It's been a long time since I've posted but oh so much has been going on. We bought a car, sold a car, I've been sick, family gatherings, moving help, and oh...I GOT A NEW JOB! I think back to so many posts about struggling in my current positon and the limitations on my time that it creates. Starting April 11, I will have a new job, with normal hours. I can hardly believe it.

I'm already daydreaming about the possibilities a normal schedule will allow for: violin lessons (I sent an inquiry yesterday!), a class as I continue to explore long-term possibilities, yoga.....ahhhhh.

I feel like I've waited and waited and waited.....I guess that's what happens when you pray for patience!

I feel like sprinting and doing cartwheels along this gorgeous beach in Monterey that Matt and I went to last year (eeeeek!):

Inspiration.

2011-03-24T15:02:00.000-07:00

Twenty years from now, you

will be more disappointed

by the things you did not do,

then by the things you did do.

So cast off the bow line,

sail away from the safe

harbor, catch the wind, and

dream explore and discover.

- Mark Twain

Love.

2011-03-21T08:42:00.001-07:00

via Aurajoon.

Can't a girl dream?

2011-03-16T11:57:00.001-07:00

Today I feel excited. My lovely friends and I have been tossing around the idea of a business prospect, which we will discuss more at our upcoming craft day! I love this idea. With our insanely busy lives, we all have those projects that keep being put on the back-burner. But those projects are often soooo satisfying to complete! So I can't wait to get together and work on that inspiration board I've been envisioning for so long.....exciting!

In other news, recent conversations with a friend lead me to ask the question of why is it so hard to battle emotions with logic? It's so interesting how we can logically understand something so well, but our hearts can still feel a way that is totally contradictory. How do you fight it? Stay strong. Easier said than done? Absolutely. Have faith my friend, this too shall pass.

Home is where the heart is

2011-03-09T08:17:00.000-08:00

This week seems to be crawling by for me. Perhaps its because I had such a pleasant weekend!

We started out with a date night on Friday night, which started with homemade breakfast pizza for dinner. It was so delicious and easy to make, thanks to this recipe! Here is how ours turned out:

Then we went to watch The King's Speech which we both really loved! Saturday morning after visiting the grandparents we cleaned the house and I decorated it with flowers, something I find to really bring joy to the house in the simplest way! My new thing is to buy one variety bouquet from Trader Joe's (haven't bought one over $6) and break it apart, displaying it in mason jars around the house. Now, I have three cute flower displays and you can't beat the price. Ranunculus are one of my absolute favorite. This bouquet had a very romantic element to it, which I picked for our bedroom and positioned right next to our wedding photo :)

Happy Wednesday!

Joyful reminders.

2011-03-03T21:40:00.000-08:00

Things that made me happy today...

1) Waking up to my amazing husband

2) Realizing that my brother comes home in just 2 weeks

3) Getting a long awaited e-mail :)

4) Finding an awesome website for apartment rentals all over Europe

5) Being reminded that God has a plan for me

6) Planning out date night for tomorrow which is F.R.I.D.A.Y.

7) The following picture:

Panjta Chiz (5 things in Farsi)

2011-02-25T08:35:00.001-08:00

I am SO happy it's Friday! My goal for this weekend is to decompress and relax! 5 ways I hope to achieve this:

1. Work out

2. Do some work on our 1959 Thunderbird

3. Finish my book and start a new one!

4. Root beer floats and movies with Grandma :)

5. Research SPAIN!

Adventures Abroad.

2011-02-23T13:15:00.000-08:00

The countdown is starting to become so much more real.....when Matt graduates we are going to pack our bags and head on out to Europe where we plan to live for as long as it works! It will likely be less than a year, but who knows- we may find a way to stay longer! It's becoming so much more real as we start to look into places, ideas, and how-tos for our upcoming adventure.

This is a plan that he and I have had from the very beginning (literally, a month into our relationship we referenced our married lives). We plan on making it a mix of volunteering and traveling, and we are currently saving up as much as we can. Our musts on the list include Spain, Greece, Switzerland, more of Italy, England and France......the list goes on because there's pretty much nowhere we won't go. We've found some amazing opportunities to throw in that range from building homes, to working with children, to studying endangered elephants!

This is our DREAM for before we settle down and have babies :) I can't believe the time for planning has arrived....Speaking of, I can't believe I have such an amazing life partner to share my dream with!

Has anyone done something like this?

What are your must-see recommendations for Europe?

Musical love.

2011-02-22T14:09:00.000-08:00

Have I mentioned I REALLY love Ray Lamontagne? I find these lyrics to his title track to be simply amazing.

Caroline in the mountains

The sun sets up in ribbons high

I'll never wanna get old, never wanna die

We seein' steady rain

'Bout to drive us all insane

Nearly lost a few head up in the pins

At night some of the boys

Get to talking up their girls back home

I tell 'em none's as fine as mine

The old chaplin sayin'

Come morning we'll break the range

We pushin' hard now for the plains

I close my eyes

And I can see you

I close my eyes

And I can feel you here

God willin' and the creek don't rise

I'll be home again before this time next year

Though I fear this fever won't break

All my love

Life is good.

2011-02-16T19:46:00.000-08:00

This is what I get to come home to:

How freaking cute! This is a nightly ritual...Jack loves to curl up in Matt's arms while Matt studies. Love.

Happy Birthday Bestie!

2011-02-11T08:32:00.000-08:00

Happy birthday to my amazingly wonderful, gorgeous, hilarious, talented, supportive, awesome best friend, LAURA. Thank you for being such an important and great part of my life. LOVE YOU!

Inspiration

2011-02-10T13:27:00.000-08:00

My darling friend Danielle has an entire blog dedicated to inspiraitons. And my other darling friend Alicia saves pictures that inspire her on her desktop. I found the first item for my inspiration board in the making! How gorgeous is this photo??? I love love love peonies....

Women in Business

2011-02-09T09:53:00.000-08:00

I’ve prayed and prayed about some clarity about my career path and what I should be doing with my life. As I’ve posted about long ago, my gripe with my current position is that it requires long hours, which prohibits me from doing pretty much anything else with my evenings….seriously. And the more I progress here, the more hours are expected of me. I’m actually headed in a direction that I like, more of a client services and consulting focused position, so it’s hard for my judgment not to get clouded by visions of success.

The industry I work in is private equity. In short, it’s a very wealthy investment asset class focused on the private markets. And today, one of the publications I receive at work had a very interesting article, titled “Private equity is a man's world... seriously”…

http://finance.fortune.cnn.com/2011/02/08/private-equity-is-a-mans-world-seriously/

Let me remind you that one of the days I look forward to the most is the day I am a mother……and if our lives and health permit, I dream of having four children. It doesn’t bother me that this article is basically arguing that as a woman you basically either choose your career or your family. But that’s a conversation to be had another day (regarding feminism and where I stand on it). As I head in a challenging and upwards direction in my career, I’ve questioned myself for the first time in a long time, regarding if I really should be seeking other opportunities. Then, like a wonderful answer to my prayers occurred a series of three events:

1- I worked until 7:15 last night at which point my boss called me into his office to help him with a spreadsheet before I was free to go.
2- This article was published.
3- A trusted source of information felt the need to tell me today not to get my hopes up too high regarding the organizational changes that have been promised at my firm….not for me specifically, but things that gave me hope for the firm as a whole.

SO, there you have it.

Sweet Dreams are Made of This

2011-02-08T18:57:00.000-08:00

I get so overwhelmed sometimes thinking about all of the things that I want to be doing with my life. The list currently includes:

- Take violin and guitar lessons again
- Turn my cardio at the gym into at least 5 miles
- Go back to school for teaching or some kind of medical program
- Do more arts and crafts (make an inspiration board to start)
- Makeover my wardrobe
- Bike a marathon
- Start yoga
- Read the entire Bible

It is never too late to be what you might have been.
-- George Eliot

On a completely unrelated note, this picture from my wedding makes me laugh....

This makes me smile

2011-02-01T20:32:00.000-08:00

As the world turns

2011-01-31T08:45:00.000-08:00

Last night my conservative husband and I went to my liberal father's house and as usual, ended up in a lengthy conversation about politics and how we can solve the world's problems. It's amazing that these conversations are diplomatic, given that both of them are very passionate about such topics. But somehow, these conversations about some of the most sensitive issues in society end up being interesting and intensely thought provoking, with no sense of hostility.

One of the main conclusions that we came to was that historically, peoples and countries are cyclical whether it be economically or in matters of war. I think most people recognize this. But a question my dad presented was, how often to you hear countries or leaders reflecting on 'what did we do wrong?'

I take this issue to the individual and find that we have the same issue. Some may call this self-reflection. Some call it repentance. Why do we have such a hard time facing our mistakes and our shortfalls? Isn't it true that often, when we allow ourselves to acknowledge these things, the outcome changes and we are empowered?

I'll start with a confession. It's not easy for me to admit that I am much more of a self conscious person than most people are aware. And I very often react or behave in ways that cater to this self consciousnesses as opposed to in a way that is true to my heart or what I feel right. And when I do this, I am attempting to protect myself whether it be in a defensive way or in a false way that helps me to fit in. But I know from experience all this does is alienate me and put me in a less than comfortable position. Why do I keep doing this? Because its easier. Does it work better? No.

One of my personal goals is to stop caring so much about fitting in or so called protecting myself. I need to remember that (a) the only one whose judgement matters is not here on earth, (b) those who truly love me will love me no matter what (c) when I have been true to myself and my beliefs, the outcome has always been better.

Maybe it will take more than that to stop wars and violence, but I do agree that the world could be a better place if we all took time to reflect on ourselves and truly strive for better.

Hmmm I wonder if I can follow through with this.

2011-01-28T17:31:00.000-08:00

I have had some complaints from friends and family about the fact that I've closed my facebook account, but frankly, me and facebook just don't work well! And I'm such a non-committal person about most things in life that aren't living and breathing, so the blog was another doozy. But I'm wondering if I can come back to the blog to bridge the gap that facebook has left open. I hate to even say that but the reality of today's pace means we just don't get enough of each others time these days anymore. Sad but true.

So my loved ones, if you haven't already taken a gander at it, I do post updated pictures of my meanders on this website and I am currently in the process of doing some catch up on it (Honeymoon). http://mattandelhamsadventures.shutterfly.com/

So why am I so non-committal? I struggle with this. I need to find a niche because I honestly just feel so unskilled!! I'd love to be able to find something I feel passionate about this year. That is of course outside of my relationships which mean more to me than anything!

Have you heard the song "Arms of a Woman" by Amos Lee? It's beyond amazing.

http://s0.ilike.com/play#Amos+Lee:Arms+Of+A+Woman:37538:s2331443.9642082.1528640.0.2.88%2Cstd_3071e6930ab442e8b88ff7b5659a1aa3

Have a fantastic weekend.

Don't hold back

2011-01-27T11:34:00.000-08:00

A Yahoo headline brought me to tears this morning and I decided to do a quick post so that anyone who comes across it can hopefully be impacted, like I just was. As dumb as it sounds, it was a clip from American Idol, showing a 26-year old man whose 23-year old fiancée was in a tragic accident two months before they were supposed to get married. She survived, but suffered serious damage to her brain and this girl who was gorgeous and healthy now looks completely different and is in a wheelchair, unable to walk or talk. Thank God she survived, but now her wedding has been postponed as they deal with her healing.

I thought, wow- you never know what can happen on any given day in any given moment. So I instantly sent my husband a text that said, “hey babe…I love you so much.”

2011

2011-01-12T13:22:00.000-08:00

I decided I'm not a blogger, can you tell? I really love to read blogs, but there are few that keep my interest enough to check daily, and I lack the creativity to be have one of those. I also find a lot of my insight to be very random and too personal for me to feel comfortable sharing online, even though the total number of readers for my blog is equal to ZERO :) However, I may as well keep this bad boy alive in case the day ever comes again where I feel I have something interesting enough to share, and in the meantime, I am reverting back to my good old pen and paper journal writing, where I can divulge the deepest secrets of my heart and mind.......

Hmmm....

2010-10-19T10:47:00.000-07:00

I felt serious guilt about my last post so I took it down. Haha....

Inspiraton!

2010-08-02T10:58:00.000-07:00

Ahhh yes, the good old blog again. I’ve realized something about myself in the past three months of craziness/awesomeness/stress/bliss. I NEED exercise for mental health. I am one of those people whose emotional stability goes hand in hand with exercise. I admittedly have NOT worked out for like 3 months… sure I’ve gone here and there a few times, but I pretty much have sucked in that department due to wedding planning, the actual wedding, random health issues, and just straight up being TIRED. But the less I work out, the more tired I am, and hence the tangled web I have weaved. I have to be cautious of my crankiness, I feel fat, and I’m ultimately just annoying myself!! My poor husband! Haha….anyway, so now I have no more excuses, I am physically now able, my wedding has passed, and I shall work out again. In fact, I must. So, as was the theme of my first blog post, here it reoccurs- I am challenging myself to stick with a five times a week workout routine, even if that workout is only 25 minutes, I need to release those endorphins!!

So yes, I suck on the blog front. But I realized that I am not one who can do the the aesthetically pleasing posts, etc. I love to write about various topics but I need to be inspired. So whether its excitement or sadness, political or spiritual, whatever it is, I would love to write about it if I have some type of qualifying event. But it comes full circle to my lack of energy from being so inactive that I’m pretty sure it accounts for my lack of inspiration towards a lot of things lately. Yes, I’ve loved creating my home with my husband, trying new recipes, new experiences with my volunteering…etc. But the Ah-Ha! Moments have been few and far between. So…

Objective: Bring back some ZING to my life
Strategy: Be active, regularly.
Outcome: Pleasant feelings and attitude, hot bod...hence increasing enthusiasm in other aspects of all.

Not feelin it!

2010-06-03T21:32:00.000-07:00

Somehow this four-day week is taking an extremely long time to reach its dear sweet end! Today, I am happy as a clam, but had an annoying experience that I felt I can/will blog about.

Here is something about me- if I don’t want to hang out with someone, I don’t pretend that I do. If I don’t mean something, I don’t say it just to sound like a wonderful person. Because the truth is, that actions speak louder than words, in this case at least. And I have such a HUGE gripe with people who talk a big game about how much they miss you and want to hang out and make plans yet they flake on every opportunity to do so, or they never answer your calls. I can’t allow myself to believe that you’re actually too busy to just send a quick text or email, if not engage in a call. Otherwise you’d have no boyfriend, your mom would hate you….etc. etc. Right??!

I am an understanding person, trust me. I know what it’s like to be busy. But I also know that no matter how busy I am, there’s always time for the people that matter the most. And people can’t take that for granted. You don’t have friends when it’s convenient for you, that’s just not the way it works. And you can say all of the most wonderful things in the world, but until you actually start to follow through, don’t give yourself any points, or expect anyone else to. .. YA HEARD???

Okay, goodnight!!!

"Music is what feelings sound like"

2010-05-21T15:00:00.000-07:00

Today, I plugged in my IPOD at work and zoned out the rest of the office as I worked and jammed away. There’s nothing like good music that speaks to your heart- at least for me- I just LOVE music! Some good one’s for my recently played lists:

Regina Spektor- Samson:
“You are my sweetest downfall... I loved you first”

Ben Harper and The Blind Boys- Where Could I Go
“Now I’m coming to you with my arms open wide”

Joshua Radin & Schuyler Fisk- Paperweight
“Every word you say I think I should write down, don’t want to forget come daylight...happy to lay here, just happy to be here…I’m happy to know you”

Yann Tiersen-La valse d’Amelie (version orchestra)
…this one just makes me smile!

Ray Lamontagne- Forever My Friend
“Forever my friend, forever my love, forever the woman that I'm thinking of….I just think if we keep our hearts together…Just think if we build on this trust that we have for one another…baby we can make this last a lifetime”

Happy medium

2010-05-20T20:14:00.000-07:00

Ahhhh….I didn’t blog yesterday, because frankly I felt like crawling into a hole and never ever coming out. I had one of those days where I felt so unable to be happy and motivated…it was no bueno. I have realized something about myself. I have two very conflicting sides. One side needs to be busy at all times, I have to be working on multiple projects, I have to be taking on something new, I have to be moving….learning….pushing….then there’s another side that needs to be able to wind down. If I don’t get this time, I get very, VERY cranky. I get fussy and irritated and feel like the entire world is against me. I resent that I can’t relax, do something I enjoy even if it’s totally unproductive…..just CHILL. So I must focus on finding myself a happy medium, even if it’s just one day a week. Because just that one day of slowing down puts a break on the going going going. BUT!! Today, I received some good news, and that is that Matthew and I got approved on our very first home together! Rental that is, but given the areas we were interested in and the high supply of renters, we were surprised at how fast things were going and even got denied twice due to “kinships” J Well that’s just fine because our place is just wonderful. And I can’t wait!

Moral of the week: Have faith. Don’t worry when things are out of your hands. Just have faith.

Its good to be back

2010-05-18T19:17:00.000-07:00

Where do I begin? I am DONE with my class, DONE with the CSET (for now), and have settled all the big pre-wedding decisions. I am elated!! I finally have a moment to breathe…..to clean….to exercise….to read….to cook…..ahhhhh it feels so good!!

Today, I feel as though I am on Cloud 9. I’m just so amazed at how good life can be. Just a few days ago I felt like I couldn’t go another day without taking a break, but I pushed through it and I feel great!

Key Takeaways:

(1) Healthy body = Healthy mind (Sleep is good. Exercise is a must. Food matters.)
(2) Don’t expect others to do things just because you would.
(3) My best friend = the world’s greatest maid of honor.
(4) Etsy.com is amazing.
(5) God is good. Always!

Random, I know. But totally true. And I get to watch LOST tonight. A-w-e-s-o-m-e!

I heart San Francisco.

2010-04-15T20:34:00.001-07:00

Having my cousins visit SF for the first time gave us a great opportunity to be tourists in a city that we have visited tons of time already....what an awesome experience we had seeing what felt like the whole city by foot. Here's a brief of our itenerary:

Friday: Stayed at the Westin on Market- awesome location, great hotel. Shopped at Jeremys (http://www.jeremys.com/) and walked to Firenze by Night in North Beach for an amazing and authentic Italian meal. Walked around and checked out Bix in the Financial District before crashing.

Saturday: Walked walked walked. We went straight to the Embarcadero for the Saturday Famer's Market- it is so awesome! We stood in line for the well-worth-it Blue Bottle coffee, sifted through beautiful flowers and delicious looking foods, and checked out some awesome local art. We made our way to Coit Tower for an amazing view of the city, and all the way to Lombard Street- yes, still by foot. So the way to go! You run into awesome local neighbordhoods and areas, so much to see while getting a great workout! From Lombard we made our way to the Marina District where I fell in love. This is such a cute area! And the Tipsy Pig for lunch- LOVED IT. The food was great! The ambiance was amazing. Wonderful. We continued on our journey on foot to the Palace of Fine Arts. So gorgeous. Onto the shore heading towards the Golden Gate Bridge....where on our way up, Matthew proposed! Down on one knee...in front of my mom, brother, and cousins. Perfect :). This crazy day was not even over yet! We went to Maykadeh for a great Iranian dinner, and out for a drink and dueling pianos at Foley's. PHEW!!!

Sunday: Another great meal started our last day together, we had breakfast at Mo's Diner. Yummm! We headed over to Pier 31 to board a ferry over to Alcatraz. So spooky but really interesting. By the time it was over, the rain was pouring and it was time to part.

Inspiration.

2010-04-15T13:48:00.000-07:00

Thanks to Danielle and her new blog, Life: Inspired, I got a jolt of my own inspiration for a much needed update to my blog and just to take a moment aside from my crazy work day. My mind is a whirlwind right now, so I think I just need to get some stuff OUT!

There are so many updates that need to be spread out across different posts but I can sum up the basis as "I'm engaged". YAY!! Well, what a crazy experience this has been. Immediately it has had some interesting side-effects.

1) I didn't think Matt and I could be any stronger. But I was wrong. Seeing his excitement to start our lives together and vice versa has taken our love to a whole new extraordinary level.

2)People. Are. Crazy. I was warned that people will start acting out but I really couldn't imagine this. Unfortunately, something about weddings causes a wave of irrelevant emotions to people outside of the bride and groom, whether it be pressure, jealousy, entitlement, selfishness, or what....I hate to say that off the bat I've been surprised at some people's actions. A wonderful lesson I learned today, thank you Eleanor Roosevlet: "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent".

3) That being said- I am THRILLED for our wedding and lives together, and I am SO thankful for the amazing friends and family who I have and who support and love me. It's so great to know that we have been blessed with some incredible people in our lives. Love you all!!

San Francisco was A BLAST. Thanks to Alicia, my love for SF grew exponentially, and I can't wait to go home and post the great restaurants and areas she sent us to. My proposal was truly out of a fairy tale, and now we are on a mission to plan a wedding on a very tight budget. It's been a huge but really fun challenge to our creativity and I'm excited to update my blog with our ideas and progress.

So....thanks Danielle, because I feel better already, and I think it's a sign I need "daily reflections" as you so wisely stated.

Spring Break

2010-04-02T12:16:00.000-07:00

I can’t believe it’s already Friday….just a weekend before my time off from work ends. Depression! But San Francisco hasn’t even started yet, and that’s amazing/ has been comically challenging. First off, Matthew took us to Monterey (for my surprise trip) on Monday and Tuesday. We stayed at one of the best places I have ever stayed- Sanctuary Beach Resort- PHENOMENAL. It’s on a gorgeous and oh so clean beach surrounded by wildlife preserved areas, so it’s private, quiet and beautiful! Each room is like its own bungalow, we had just one neighbor, a fireplace, and our own patio right on the sand. We even got our own golf cart to ride around! Thanks to Matt, we enjoyed the Monterey Bay Aquarium, 17-Mile Drive, Moss Landing, Carmel and Pacific Grove. So relaxing and nice.

Now as we await to be united with my cousins arriving in San Francisco, it has not been so smooth, and I really hope that changes. The weather is supposed to be rainy the entire time they are here, they missed their flight, and now my brother’s flight has been delayed. So instead of having the full day we planned for today, we won’t even be all together until this afternoon. We hope that rain doesn’t throw all of our fun plans out the window….. BOOO! BUT I will keep my head up and am very excited for the wonderful food and scenery on our itinerary:

EATS and DRINKS:
-Swan Oyster Depot
-The Tipsy Pig
-Café de la Press
-Mo’s Grill
-Rex’s Café
-Firenze by Night
-A16
-Maykadeh
-Foley’s
-Circa
-Bix

SHOPPING
-Union Street, Chestnut Street, Octavia Street
-Jeremy (LOVE this place, like the Ross of higher end retailers)
-Maiden Lane

SIGHTS/AREAS:
-Alcatraz
-Palace of Fine Arts and Presidio
-Golden Gate Bridge/Park
-Coit Tower and Lombard Street
-Ghirardelli Square

P.S. That second to last picture is a leafy sea dragon (sea horse). Crazy little guy!

Dance, dance, dance

2010-03-25T09:03:00.000-07:00

A comment from my bestie inspired me to do another post, even though I’ve unintentionally taken a sabbatical from my blog lately. There’s just WAY too much going on these days! With my class, volunteering, bridesmaids duties times TWO and my family coming to the U.S. in just one week, I’ve been busy busy busy! Life is great right now. I have SO much to look forward to. I never got around to taking pictures of my sofreh, because (a) I had like 75% of the items for it and (b) I am a crappy blogger. PLUS all of my family who reads this was away so my blog got no love (I can’t blame anyone, it’s in need of some serious juice). Anyway, we did have a great Norouz! It’s always so funny when I get together with Iranians, such a difference from when I’m with non-Iranians. Both are beautiful for their own reasons. For example, when I’m with my non-Iranians, we end up doing lots and lots of talking. When with Iranians, lots and lots of DANCING! It’s hysterical. Check out my mom’s friend trying to teach Matt how to Persian dance…..

Food + family = LOVE

2010-03-14T17:51:00.000-07:00

Like most weekends, this one has gone by way too fast. We were able to spend time with loved ones, enjoying great food and company. For Matt’s sister’s birthday on Friday, we had an old fashioned family dinner and games night. It was a blast! We played Jenga and it was so funny how much it stressed out the grandparents! Matt’s mom is such a phenomenal cook. She prepared coconut shrimp as an appetizer…..barbecued salmon made on cedar planks topped with mango salsa….mashed potatoes….and wilted spinach salad. SO DELICIOUS! Wonderful weekend with wonderful people. Love.

Happy New Year!

2010-03-10T21:27:00.000-08:00

The Iranian New Year, Norouz, is the first day of Spring (March 20), so it’s right around the corner, which means there are traditions to come- starting now! The preparation begins with a major spring cleaning, the purchase of new clothes, and the purchase of flowers. Another tradition is to set up a “sofreh haft seen”, which literally translates into seven items placed on a table or table cloth. These seven items all start with the letter “s” and have a different significance. We’ll get to that later, as I set up my very first sofreh of my own! In the mean time, I am thrilled to have excuses to do a mass sweep up of my house, including finally taking down the clothes that I never wear but keep “just in case”, buying more of my “daring” and fun outfits, and buying pretty and fresh flowers for the house!

While, I have a strange love for zinnias, I think the tradition typically leans more towards tulips or hyacinths.

And as far as clothes, I'm going search for items that include things like....ruffles, which I'm totally obsessed with right now (top from J Crew).... waists like this skirt from Anthroplogie...and girly dresses (Anthro again)

Anyway- I am looking forward to setting up my sofreh and spending time with loved ones to celebrate!

Dare to be bold.

2010-03-08T20:54:00.000-08:00

So thanks to some fellow bloggers who have lit up my inspiration to brighten up my wardrobe, I made my first step this weekend. I bought an outfit from J Crew that I would not previously had the guts to try pulling off. It's bright with colors that don't conveniently match but I'm going to wear them together....funk it up with some accessories and rock it. When I was in New York with my bestie, we hung out with our fashion forward friend who struts it like no other in the city. I'll never forget how she encouraged us to be daring with our wardrobes, after we told her that we loved her outfits but didn't think we could pull them off ourselves.

"Girls, it's all in your confidence...and if you don't feel the confidence, then ROCK it like you do, and you'll look hot!"

I love the mustard color and the ruffles of the top....and the elastic band on the skirt coupled with pockets calls for a flattering fit. I also ove the big navy flowers!

Now, to pick the shoes...I think I've narrowed it down to four. Any takers?

So, what does that make me?

2010-03-05T16:47:00.000-08:00

I think I have split personalities??

One of my identities has opinions that I want to live by, regardless or not if society agrees with them, and this is the identity that I hope defines me. These strong opinions include such things as…I don’t want a fancy life. I want to work hard for everything I ever have- whether it be my home or my family. I want to earn it by working hard every single day. And when I get that house, it doesn’t need to be some huge fancy house. I just want it to embody me and my future husband (Matt, duh)….our character, our taste…I want it to be comfortable, clean and unique. Like...we love the idea of searching for second hand furniture. Not only would it be us doing our part in conserving materials but we think you can find some really beautiful and high quality pieces that just aren’t quite as available today. I also don’t want a flashy diamond engagement ring. To me, the traditional band is beautiful because of what it represents. These days, when a girl says she is engaged, most people’s first response is, “Let me see the ring!” Really? How about- “It’s amazing that you’ve found a LIFE PARTNER, someone you love and want to build a life with!” I don’t want to get caught up in the image side of that, I want to celebrate the union and I don’t think a ring should be a part of that celebration. These are examples of the kind of life I want and hope to live.

Occasionally my other side kicks in. Why on earth do I get so easily caught up in the ooohs and aaaahs of wealth, bling, and the societal definition of success? I’ll be honest; there are certain diamond rings that make me stare (like the one above....seriously?!). In fact I tried on even just a band with diamonds on it and couldn’t help but love it. Does that mean I’m buying into these standards of society? Certain homes (like the one my friend and her loaded NY trader boyfriend live in) make me feel slightly….envious… Saying that just makes me cringe! I can’t help but sometimes daydream about that sort of glamorous lifestyle. While I definitely try to keep myself in check with what I feel is in line with my priorities and expectations, which ultimately lead me to a simple and modest lifestyle, I guess I can see how people can get so caught up in the glitz and glam. I suppose there are people who can juggle both and props to them. I just hope that I always stay honest…and true to myself. I don’t want to get swayed by the lifestyles and choices of others, and I hate that sometimes I do! Oh life- you tricky little devil you!

Oh, Paris!

2010-03-04T11:25:00.000-08:00

Thanks to Alicia for cheering me up, I've decided to post some more pictures from my Europe trip. This time....Paris. I don't care if it's cliche or not, I LOVE this city. How could you not? It's so beautiful, as a sample of our picture below will hopefully allude to. I must admit, we were just so delighted to pick up a fresh and amazing baguette from a vendor on the street and snack on it was we walked along the artistic and charismatic streets. There is SO much to see here, and no part of it is overrated.

Blah blah blah

2010-03-03T15:45:00.000-08:00

I tried to make a cute blog post about things that I love but it was a mess. It didn’t flow, it wasn’t cute...wasn’t feelin’ it one bit. While I love looking at those kinds of blogs and have the artistic ability like at home (do-it-yourself-esque), I cannot translate any of that into a blog post. I look at all the blogs that I like to follow and I envy the authors’ abilities to make such a visually appealing blog with cute and great ideas whether it be fashion or décor, or whatever else. The only time I am really able to get going with a post is when I have some kind of epiphany or great conversation with a friend. Unfortunately, these things do not happen on a regular basis and I am left with nothing to post. Sigh….Ideas?

On another note, I’m having a not-so uplifting day, in which the panicked thoughts and stresses of “what am I going to do with my life” are at the forefront of my mind. I did make it back into the gym this morning after one week of being sick followed by another week of laziness, so that’s a good thing. But other than that, I can’t seem to strip my brain of worries and questions about how my career is going to pan out, and when. NOR can I think of a way to add some WOW into my blog in progress. Grrr.

Hope, faith, and love.

2010-03-01T17:19:00.000-08:00

Isn’t it funny how life turns out? My friends and I have talked about how when we were in high school we figured we’d simply just go to college, get a good job, and then get married and settle down. But we never really thought about how we’d get there. Never did we think about the fact that we may not know what that good job would be, or that there is often a very wide gap between what we’d love to do and making money to do it. Then there’s marriage…did we expect that our spouse would just walk up to us in the grocery store, in the strawberry isle, and ask us out? And it would all fall into place from there? On top of all this, we must have figured that by then we’d have a nice little saving account set up for that house…the bills…and whatever else this life requires. It’s funny how now we realize that every single one of those things require work. Lots and lots of work. From compromising, to prioritizing, and making sacrifices…. You never really plan on those things but they are all inevitable. At least for most of us. But the point isn’t to be a downer. My point can perhaps be summed up in this quote:
“The universe can dream a bigger dream for you than you can dream for yourself.”
Don’t let the realities of this life set you back, just be prepared that it may not always look the way you expected it to and embrace it! The attitudes with which we approach things can be the most significant driver of how they turn out. I’m someone who really seeks to figure things out in advance, and when things are up in the air I stress myself out trying to think them through. But it hardly ever pans out the way I thought it would anyway. I’ve found great peace in relying on the plan that exists for me, so long as I do my best to rejoice in all that I have and approach every day with nothing but hope, faith, and love.

me and such

2010-02-25T17:19:00.000-08:00

I’m pretty slow at work right now, have completed all of my projects for the week and no managers are around so I have nothing new to work on. And I’m BORED! I was sifting through old e-mails the other day and found one from 2007 with one of those surveys that always used to be posted on MySpace. When I was on those social networks one of my favorite things to do was read those surveys about people- I loved it! I’m one of those people that likes to know everything about you; people fascinate me…all details included. So while sitting here waiting for the time to pass (I’m having appetizers and drinks with two of my favorite friends tonight, one who is newly ENGAGED!), I’m going to think of 15 things about myself to share with my non-existent readers.
1. I get in cleaning fits in which it may be 11 PM on a Tuesday night but I become determined to clean my entire house inside and out, right then and there
2. I love searching for lyrics to music
3. I have miniature panic attacks thinking about all of the things I want to do with my life, because I literally want to do EVERYTHING
4. I miss my family so freakin much- haven’t seen most of my them since 2003
5. Of all talents I could have, a good singing voice is one I’d want the most
6. I played soccer for about ten years- left halfback
7. I have a celeb crush on Matt Damon
8. I could eat an entire carton of fruit sorbet in one sitting
9. I came to faith in God after 23 years of struggling with it and it’s been a beautiful experience
10. I have the bestest friends in the whole wide world
11. I have approximately 20 different “dream jobs” including journalist, photographer, nurse, teacher, chef, fashionista…..etc. Sigh.
12. My boyfriend has the most wonderful smile I’ve ever seen
13. Matt and I have a short term “ideal plan” of moving to London early in our marriage, living in a humble abode and traveling everywhere possible from there before coming back to settle down
14. I love my kids that I don’t even have yet
15. This outfit is so me: (i heart jcrew)

Free Tilikum!

2010-02-25T09:37:00.001-08:00

The recent news about the killer whale incident at Sea World really bothers me! My sincere condolences go out to the family of the trainer as her death was tragic and very early in her life. But I really hate seeing this picture being painted of a dangerous killer…he’s just an animal who is behaving naturally. These whales were meant for the ocean, not for a tank where people do tricks on their heads! This 12,000 pound whale in particular, Tilikum, was captured from the wild at the age of 2 and has made several organizations a LOT of money since. He’s been involved in two previous accidents with people, yet they continue to use him? It’s just so sad to me and I believe Tilikum is among many who should be let free.

Time is of the Essence

2010-02-23T20:25:00.000-08:00

First of all, as an update: I just got back from volunteering and I just love it. I highly recommend it to anyone who has an extra couple of hours here and there and the compassion to share in a world that really needs it. As for the gym….that has been a failure for the past week as I’ve struggled with sleep but I was going pretty good and intend to start back tomorrow. Anyway….

While I don’t at all think that I am a love advice columnist, I happen to be having these conversations with my friends lately, and feel like writing about them! Today, my wonderful, beautiful, charismatic friend called me in tears- expressing her frustration with her and her great new boyfriend’s lack of time together. She called me, because giiiirl I can relate! She is in the wonderful stage of a new relationship, when two people realize that they just may have found THE one, and I am so happy for her. The catch is, they live about one hour from each other, so they pretty much only get to see each other on weekends. How funny- Matt and I live 2 minutes from each other, and find ourselves in the same situation. Life these days is just so fast-paced for many of us. I’m not sure in which generation the simple life became so complicated, but we all have so many commitments and responsibilities that take up so much of our time in our young lives. Hence, I think a lot of young, unmarried couples can attest to the issue of not seeing each other as much as they’d like to. Here’s why I think such a situation can be a blessing in disguise:

In relationships, what doesn’t kill you can make you stronger. I know a lot of couples, and Matthew and I started this way ourselves, that when they realize how much they love each other, they can’t get enough. Literally, they create this unhealthy co-dependence by spending every waking free moment in each other’s presence. So then…if the other person does something to upset you, the smallest thing can feel like the end of the world, because what else do you have? You do everything with that person…you find all of your joy and comfort in their presence. And when you feel less than great- who do you think will bear the burden? Not healthy.

Now, when you spend all of your time with this other person who isn’t yet your spouse, what happens to you? What about all of those things you want to accomplish for yourself, especially before you get married so that you have more to bring to the table? When do you take care of those things? Not only do I refer to careers, fitness, hobbies, tasks…etc, but I also mean emotional stability, security, and maturity. These things require growth and often some independence. Especially in today’s day and age when we go from one relationship to another (see previous blog…you like that?!) we need sufficient time to assess and reevaluate our wants and non-wants before diving back into the realm.

Being faced with this involuntary divide will force you to take your relationship slow, to give it the time it deserves to progress into the healthy and mature relationship that you want. I believe rushing is so much more dangerous than being forced to be patient. Yes, it is hard and I still struggle with it in my own relationship from time to time, because I want to see my man, darn it! But I know what he is doing is for the good of our future, and same goes for me. I also know that we have built a solid foundation…and it won’t be this way forever. I am sure that when it’s over, it will all be so worth the wait.

Love and life, actually.

2010-02-22T20:39:00.000-08:00

Today someone said to me, “I wish that the first person I was in a relationship with was the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with”. She explained her reason for saying this as, every time we end one relationship, we leave a piece of ourselves with that person. Where else do the feelings and emotions go? It just doesn’t seem like the way it was supposed to be- to go from one relationship to another, leaving behind feelings and carrying forward scars and fears. Being single and having experienced the ups and downs of dating, she wants to approach her next relationship with extreme caution. “I just don’t want to lose any more of myself”. I thought this was a very interesting point. On one hand, we learn so much from these experiences, and ultimately these lessons better position us for the future. In a perfect world, I agree with my friend. Unfortunately, it just doesn’t work that way these days. I was lead to think about this quote from SATC,

“Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous.”

I would love if I had been able to enter my relationship with my one and only (Matt) with a clean slate, and vice versa. I don’t have some amazing conclusion to this post, but I think my ultimate point is that it my friend is so smart in recognizing that she doesn’t want to lose herself in relationships that don’t meet the requirements for the life that she wants to live. I hope that everyone seeks out the companion that truly sets that fire in their hearts and can be a partner in this crazy journey of life!

Shout Out to Steph

2010-02-21T14:14:00.000-08:00

I am so incredibly proud of my dear friend Stephanie Pando. She has found a way to put her passions to work, through being one of the best nannies a parent could ask for and also being able to capture wonderful moments for people through photography.

If you’re interested in having her take some photos for you (she's around Southern and Northern CA), she is very reasonably priced, as she’s a beginner- talented nonetheless! Go Steph!!! She does other pictures too (weddings, family, etc.) but there were some of my favorite.

Make it Happen.

2010-02-19T11:13:00.000-08:00

A goal I need to seriously tackle this year is taking violin lessons. I played the violin for 8 years, and then as a teen decided I was too cool to keep playing….so annoying! I can still read music and play relatively well, but I really want to master it! Not only classical, which is what I was taught, but folk style too! I dream of playing for my family one day. And while I’ve meant to start practicing for a long time now, it just hasn’t happened.

Another one I started and didn’t finish (sigh) is my guitar…but that will require a lot more learning which I’d rather tackle after the violin. I’m slowly starting to realize that the theme of majority of my life has been “I love this, I want to try….oh man this is hard…I’m not awesome right off the bat? Ugh I’m over it”. By now, it’s really starting to annoy me. As in, I am annoying myself! I must put an end to this! I absolutely know that if I put my mind to any of these things, if I want them bad enough, I can make it happen. But I am a “restless soul” (stole that from passport in my pocket) and when it doesn’t happen right away, I must need more instant gratification or something because I just tend to get frustrated with myself and look for the next thing to try and undertake.

*I must learn to find the excitement in those challenges, though, because that’s what makes the accomplishment such a beautiful thing. You gotta earn the glory, right?!*

Ode to Sacramento

2010-02-18T19:34:00.000-08:00

I realized that my blog has no theme at all….but I think I’m okay with that. So to add to my randomness, I decided to capture some of the beautiful things I walk past on my way to work. One of my favorite things about Sacramento is the trees. I love these tulip trees….

And we have orange trees everywhere!

The capitol building and park are so pretty- great for a picnic or to jog around.

I used to hate this city, to be totally honest, but I’ve grown to love it. With midtown’s cute shops, restaurants, and night life if you want it….downtown containing some impressive business with our state’s government and the country’s largest pension fund…and then East Sacramento with the oh so beautiful homes, parks, and “Fabulous Forties”… I’m over wishing I lived somewhere else and am learning to appreciate what I have right in front of me. That’s not to say I’m not looking forward to the next chapter in life, wherever that may be (London?? Seattle??), but I am honestly happy right where I am for now!

*** Some of my midtown favorites: The Bread Store (BEST sandwiches), Old Soul (awesome coffee spot- see pics on “Cheetah Is the New Black”), Moxie for some fabulous finer dining, Time Tested Books (used bookstore), Zanzibar (world imports/free trade store) ***

Travel Reminiscence: Cinque Terre, Italy

2010-02-17T20:58:00.000-08:00

Today was a great day. I'm still feelin' my workout from yesterday morning, I was able to enjoy my lunch break with my man., and I am very pleased with my first math exam results....so my happy place leads me to think about one of my favorite things: TRAVEL. I'm pleased to say that I've been to some amazing places so far and there are hundreds more that I'd love to see. In 2008, Matthew and I traveled to England, France, and Italy. Our absolute favorite part of the trip was the Cinque Terre.

I can't express how beautiful these five villages along the Italian coast are (Monterosso, Vernazza, Corniglia, Manarola, and Riomaggiore). On one side you have the hills that are lined with grapes and olives, and on the other side you have the gorgeous Mediterrean ocean.

No cars are allowed into the villages, just a single train that passes through them all. There's also a walking trail that connects all of the villages ("Via Del 'Amore"). Matthew and I hiked it and there really are no words for the beauty. We scored an awesome 3 story apartment...in my opinion, renting apartments from locals is the way to go. This place was no more expensive then a hotel, and it was a fully equipped! The best part was our huge balcony, overlooking the ocean. Right below us was a selection of amazing restaurants. The fresh pasta was the kind of delicious that you have to close your eyes and say "mmm" with every bite. Oh, and did I mention the wine?

Ti amo Cinque Terre!

Healthy body, healthy mind.

2010-02-17T08:09:00.001-08:00

Are you like me and gain weight like a mad woman if you don’t watch what you eat? UGH! I sometimes envy my skinny little friends who can eat whatever they want and not see an impact. But at the same time, it’s kind of nice to know I work hard at keeping my figure trim. While it’s definitely far from perfectly where I want it, I am at a point where I feel good enough to blog about it! So aside from the much needed- no matter how skinny you are- daily exercise, I have found some healthy eating habits that make it much easier to keep the muffin tops away. This is what works for me:
-Save your indulging for the weekends. I have to remind myself that eating is really just for our health and survival. So while I love love LOVE a delicious meal, I also can’t always eat to my heart’s highest content. But there is definitely a happy medium. For example, I create a consistent and healthy routine that keeps my body happy by eating the relatively same foods at work every day. Then come the weekend , I can let loose without the guilt!
- Pack your lunch the night before! Do it! This way you can buy things that require a bit more prep time so that you don’t have to worry about the rush in the morning (which means they are probably healthier). Also helps to avoid getting take out because you didn’t have time to pack anything
-Read labels! Avoid buying it if it’s not good for you. Just avoid having the unnecessary and unhealthy foods at your house. If you’re like me, if it’s there….you’ll eat it. And then feel guilty about it.
Suggestions (all purchased at Trader Joe’s):
-I LOVE salads. I have a salad every day at work- I mix the greens the night before at home, and leave some of my toppings and dressings at work to avoid the hassle of lugging at back and forth. My perfect salad that I am yet to get sick of consists of: baby lettuce mix, basil, Persian cucumbers (represent), shredded carrots, walnuts (super food), dried cranberries, tomatoes, broccoli, and feta cheese crumbles. I just add balsamic vinegar and olive oil. It sounds like a lot of work but honestly, TJ’s makes it really easy and if you leave the bulk of it at work and do the other part at home the night before, you’re set.
-TJ’s Heart Healthy Instant Oatmeal (blueberry or cranberry are my fave)
-Fat free cottage cheese- try it with some fruity fat-free (natural) yogurt or fresh berries! If you can’t deal with the cottage cheese, try fat free vanilla yogurt or for more of a natural flavor Greek style plain yogurt mixed with fresh berries (I love mixing with blueberries)
-An apple, banana, pear….at least one fruit as a snack
-Turkey meatballs- TJ’s sells these low fat frozen cooked turkey meatballs. They have great flavor and are a good source of protein. I just heat up a few, plain or with marinara, and eat them a la carte!
I have a lot of others but these are some of the ones I consider staples at this point. It really makes a difference not just in the way you look but the way you feel when you live an intentionally healthy lifestyle and I think it’s something everyone should try out!

Pumped.

2010-02-16T11:31:00.000-08:00

I am feeling inspired to jazz up this blog. I am so not a jazzy person, but I love so many things and have a zillion different aspirations- that’s gotta get me somewhere, right? I’ll admit that just having a blog to come home to and write on has motivated me to seek inspiration from almost everything in life. Looking at other people’s blogs (check out Alicia’s, linked below- so cute, and with links to a ton of other cute blogs), I get fired up! From adorable outfits and accessories that inspire my own wardrobe, to great books to read, to places to eat and even sweet things to do for my bf…. I just want to do it all.. So now in addition to seeking the career I am passionate about….staying fit and healthy…and overall being the best version of myself possible, I want to challenge my creativity and continue sharing my thoughts and experiences with the people I trust and love the most!

It's Amore!

2010-02-15T14:45:00.000-08:00

I had a wonderful Valentines Day weekend! On Friday night, Matthew made us some delicious chili and cornbread and we watched Freedom Writers. Pretty good movie, especially given that it's based on a true story, and it definitely kicked up some more inspiration for my possible teaching career. On Saturday we had Matthew's beautiful goddaughter's baptism, did some running around, and had dinner with his family at the Cheesecake Factory. On Valentines day we took my mom on a hike in Auburn near the American River Canyon, where we discovered an awesome cove and lady bugs galore! We wrapped up the evening with a fantastic filet mignon dinner and the Godfather (finally saw it!).....This morning we enjoyed coffee and pastries with some friends at one of our favorite coffee spots in Sacramento, Old Soul. This was an awesome 3-day weekend. Not looking forward to going back to work tomorrow!! But.....c'est la vie! I am so thankful for time that I get to spend with friends and family. Matthew has been so loving and sweet - well he always is- but more so lately he has been professing his love so publicly and making reference to our future. It really is a wonderful and exciting thing, to really be able to envision making a life with someone. OOOhhh la la!

Praying for the People of Iran

2010-02-11T16:28:00.000-08:00

I wish people understood how bad it still is in Iran for the people. I am so sick of seeing the state organized pro-government rallies. This is not a true representation of the mass public. The mass public, including my educated and wonderful family wants to have their rights acknowledged and instead they are being attacked and silenced. The corrupt regime is a true shame and words cannot express the disgrace that they have caused. I pray for change, for the sake of the people. For their safety and for their lives to be without fear and oppression.

My Sweet Man!

2010-02-07T21:10:00.001-08:00

Matthew treated me to a wonderful show on Friday night. It was so sweet and thoughtful of him, LOVE that boy! We also had a wonderful breakfast at "Dottie's"
(try it if you can- delightful), walked along the Golden Gate Bridge and hiked the coast at the Marin Headlands, and stopped in Sausalito for a stroll and coffee. It was so relaxing and great... Saturday was the hilarious comedy show- all Iranians who can should see Maz, he had us cracking up!! After two years, one of which was a serious learning curve for us, to say the least, Matthew and I are stronger than ever and soooo thankful for the experiences that have brought us closer. I hope everyone waits it out for the person who truly makes them feel they understand the true meaning of love, and that it goes both ways.

Not quite!

2010-02-03T20:15:00.001-08:00

Well, the crazy schedule has caught up to me and I. Am. Tired. I have not at all gotten accustomed to it, not to mention, I am always hungry! Ugh. Oh well...I'll keep pushing it until it just becomes routine. In other news, I've found myself in quite a strange situation. An old acquaintance has tracked me down, and decided to tell me a bit too much information. At first this information was really sad, and I felt a lot of sympathy. Therefore, this person, who I was never close to, started to get a lot of my attention as I felt she needed a friend. Now as her stories and traumas progress...I feel confident I am being manipulated. And it is so weird. I really do not understand how some people can be so careless with other people's lives and emotions. I seem to attract a lot of these people. In a conversation with Matt regarding this situation, we pointed out that he is often told that he is very friendly, personable, well-spoken, likable...etc. Yet people, with the exception of oldies, never really impose on him or go to him in times of need. Then there is me- who often gives off the vibe (as I am told) of a less friendly, very private and intense person. Yet people have always- spilled their hearts out to me, involved me with their dramas and lives, and sometimes imposed on a lot of my time. This is not referring to just my close friends who can do that, its people who I am not close with, acquaintances if you will. I need to get to the bottom of what I do to give off that additional 'come to me with all of your problems' vibe....Not that I don't like to help people. But I think that gets taken advantage of, which isn't cool.

It's Already February?

2010-01-31T17:57:00.000-08:00

Time has flown by. It's crazy! In 'A Severe Mercy', the author makes a really interesting point about the concept that we were designed as eternal beings. In his letters with the great C.S. Lewis, they discuss the strange reality that as humans we always feel so aware of time, "how it flies by" and how nostalgic we get about the great times that always feel too short. Why, they ask, do we feel as though time is short, if that is all we've ever known? How are we able to long for more time, if we've never known it to be another way? Interesting argument for creation. And I find it to be very true. Based on my beliefs, its because we were meant to live for eternity with our creator. Every Sunday I feel as though the weekend was much too short, and dread the week ahead before the next weekend to come. On that note, I am really excited for this weekend. It is me and Matt's two year dating anniversary. He has something up his sleeve which I am not aware of but I am very much looking forward to it. He's taking on Friday night, and I got us tickets to see Iranian comedian Maz Jobrani do stand up comedy on Saturday night. Should be a great weekend!!

Gotta Have It...Part 1

2010-01-29T13:44:00.000-08:00

Youngblood Loose Mineral Powder

Benefit Bad Gal Lash

Boeger Barbera

High Pumps
(These are Christian Louboutins that I can only dream about)

Feeling Good Already

2010-01-28T20:42:00.000-08:00

It's amazing how much just following through with plans or hopes can make you feel awesome. Tonight I spent time with my bestie volunteering at an emergency housing shelter, where we helped out with the all of the children while the parents were in mandatory classes. Volunteering is something that I've been wanting to do for a long time, but had a hard time finding something that worked with my schedule. Now, I've found something I can commit to once a week and I had a great first night. I left with mixed emotions, it's definitely hard knowing the situations of these children and the circumstances of which I was in their presence, but there's nothing like the joy that a child can bring. And tonight we were surrounded by a ton of them!! SO looking forward to tomorrow...a nice workout, some long awaited time with my boyfriend, and the weekend ahead!

What the heck am I going to blog about?

2010-01-27T08:05:00.000-08:00

I am not a writer. I think that I felt a blog would be an awesome idea because I just watched Julie & Julia and it seemed so doable. But I forget Julie Powell was actually a talented writer, and as my last two posts show, I am not. But I did decide to do this and per the current theme of my life I am determined to keep trying. So maybe where I went wrong last night was that at the very end of the day, right before bed, I thought I'd be able to sit down and reflect on my day with some great insight. But in reality my brain was fried at that point and I honestly couldn't think of a single interesting thing to say. My new idea is that I will try to update this throughout the day, as much as work will permit, whenever I feel I have something interesting (ish) to say. So...we shall see.

Day Two: Action

2010-01-26T21:48:00.001-08:00

So I successfully managed to get out of bed at 5:15, make it to the gym AND study after work even though I got off at 7... I must say it felt pretty awesome getting my workout done first thing in the morning. However, tomorrow is only Wednesday...sigh.

Day One: Accountability (Updated)

2010-01-25T20:46:00.000-08:00

Today I decided I have to set a plan of action to make the changes that I keep talking about in my life but that somehow keep getting delayed or amended. You see, I graduated college 3 years ago at the lovely age of 22. I thought a degree in Finance would grant me a life of success and that's about as far as my thought process went. And here I am, working at a lucrative private equity firm, making more money than most my peers- not enjoying the career side of my life at all. How was I supposed to know what I wanted to do with my life straight out of high school, with no real life experience? Enough said there. Now that I have the most amazing man a girl could ask for, I see the life that I want. It involves a family, a humble abode, and amazing life experiences. Cliche as it is, I want to make a difference in this world, I want to be the best mom and wife a woman can be, and I want to see as much as I can see in this lifetime. Oh and I also want to get fit by this summer....so I have a strict new regime that I need to stick to and for some reason I think a blog may be a way to help me do that. Not that I think a single human other than myself or possibly a loved one that I force this upon will read this but JUST in case one does, maybe, just maybe- that will move me along this path. So, for the next few months, at least until I take the CSET in May, I am forcing myself to adhere to this schedule, of course with some room for unavoidable changes:

Sun: Church, Mom time, chores, gym, coffee with a friend perhaps, study
Mon/Wed: Gym 5:15 AM, work 7:30 AM-5:45 PM, refresher class 6:25-7:45, study 8-9
Tues: Gym 5:15 AM, work 7:30-6, Volunteer 6:30-8, LOST with my bestie!
Thurs: Gym 5:15 AM, work 7:30-5:45 PM,

Fri: Gym 5:15 AM, work 7:30- 6 PM, Gym, Dinner with my man...relax :)
Sat: the one day my man and I have fully cooperative schedules, so this is our day to go running and study together.... do our groceries....spend time with our friends or families

No, most of this does not sound fun but it is doable and quite possibly the only way that I can work enough hours to make my employer happy AND work on my fitness AND study. If I slack on any of these things any longer, I think I may have a quarter-life crisis.